My family hates April Fools Day. Instead of embracing it with glee as I do, they put on armor, suspicious of what the day may bring. Frankly, I think they should quit whining and get over it. For me, it’s a day demonstrating my love, taking extreme measures to make them feel special.
Do they appreciate it? Pffft…. Not a bit. Even my children have no respect for the day. It’s not as if they did not receive training. As toddlers we studied the fine art together pranking neighbors, friends, even the dog. Just when it was time for them to graduate from the basics like “your shoes are untied” to higher levels, the incessant whining and boohooing began. They just couldn’t live by my April Fools mantra – “don’t dish out what you can’t eat yourself.”
So this year, I am taking the day off. I know they’ll miss my loving acts of impery. I hope you enjoy and use the best jewels from my jester crown.
1. I BAKED A CAKE JUST FOR YOU.
Supplies needed: 1 Car wash sponge
1 can of frosting.
Frost the sponge taking care to make it look the utmost delicious. It helps if you are not the best cook. I had to stop my husband from choking on this because he thought it was just another failed baking experiment and he did not want to hurt my feelings.
2. MY LIPS, MY LIPS, SOMEONE STOLE MY LIPS.
Supplies: 1 tube Orajel Toothache relief.
The victim’s drinking glass, coffee cup, etc. Discreetly squeeze a small amount of Orajel on your finger, swiping it discreetly on the brim of the cup, glass or even an aluminum can. Note: This prank is accredited to my little brother, Danny, who passed away in 2010. He celebrated the spirit of practical jokes daily and always kept a tube of Orajel in his pocket.
3. FREDDY KRUEGER IS AT THE DOOR.
Supplies: A cell phone.
Go to the victim’s house and stay hidden. Call them engaging in light hearted conversation. With cell phone in hand, knock aggressively on the door. Hide. When they go to the door to find no one is there, tell them to be careful. Wait a moment and repeat the knocking and disappear. Tell them you will stay on the phone in case they need you to call for help. Repeat until you sense it is time to appear at the door exclaiming the ever satisfying “April Fool!” I got lucky on this one because my daughter happened to be watching a scary movie.
4. SAVE THE LITTLE OLD LADY
Supplies: No supplies just a vehicle and a willing, naïve, young victim. I chose my 10 year old grandson. Take the victim on a day trip. Choose your destination carefully. Mine was a 35 mile trip. About midway, pump the brake causing as much jerking as possible and pull over to the side of the road. I told my grandson that I was too old to walk the rest of the way and he would have to walk into town and find help. I warned him not to accept rides or talk with strangers. After taking a deep breath, the brave little man began the trek, determined to do what needed done. After they walk a few yards, start the car and drive past them. Honking and yelling April Fool out the window adds the needed drama. I do suggest that you do this on the return trip otherwise the victim can be quite cranky the rest of the day.
5. WHERE DID IT GO?
This works best for a spouse or a teenager with a car. Skill level: Stealth. Wait until the victim has fallen asleep for the night. Choose a safe, close by destination where you can park their car for the night. Caution: This could have been disastrous because I overslept and the police were called before I made it downstairs screaming “April Fool.” IMPORTANT NOTE: The police are even less enthusiastic about the holiday than my family.
Have fun with these. I will enjoy my day off. My family won’t believe me. They’ll spend the day same as always, peeking around corners waiting for me to pop out and declare
Happy April Fools Day!!!!!!!